human being always changes

he makes me fall in love with him *that was before. he makes me love him everyday *that was before. he makes me miss to hear his voice everyday *that was before. he makes me laugh in every conversation *that was before. he makes me dont wanna lose him *that was before. he makes my world happier *that was before. he makes me feel that im not alone in this world *that was before. he makes my life like a rainbow *that was before. he supports me whatever thing that i wanna do *that was before. he comforts me when im in sadness *that was before. he's willing to share my probs whether its a big probs or just a tiny misunderstanding *that was before. excited when i'll come along with him *that was before. try to steal my heart when im crying *that was before. mad at me if i was careless *that was before. do a silly thing with me *that was before. always have a topic to text with me *that was before. he always makes me think of him everyday *that was before. he makes me smile in every time *that was before. taking care of me *that was before. ask me gently if anything wrong with me *that was before. patients with my weird attitudes *that was before.



he makes me feel uneasy. he makes me guilty with my every single words. he makes me cry, rarely comforts me. he makes me feel like 'syok sendiri'. when im in sadness, he advices me to take a nap. he makes my world darking. he makes my day gloomy. we rarely have a topic to talk to. rarely have a conversation. he makes me feel like im like a dumb when doing silly things and he wont do it with me. 'takesah' whatever i felt. he makes me laugh fakely. << its happend now. idk why. and you, please tell me why you make me feel this way ? let my world lonely. let me alone. never understand what's going on. make a poker face. let me handle it alone. why did you came to me ? why did you do this to me ? what's wrong with you ? am i not good enough for you ? are you going to hate me ? why did you make me shame like this ? WHY ? i have a pride too. just like you. unbelieveble.
tell them i was happy. and my heart is broken. all my scars are open. tell them that im lonely. impossible.


apologizing : does not always mean you are wrong and the other person is right. it just means you value your relationship more than your ego. 


p/s : yeah well, i love to be like a super actor :) what i was trying to say are not happend in my real life. it was just a script in our life :)